The Caffeine/Suger Combo

There are a lot of things that I consider to be a la Americana. Chain stores. Overusage of street lights and underusage of yield signs (which is probably a good thing, since no one around here can figure out that “yield” is not a synonym for “stop”). An addiction to buying ultra cheap consumer products made with ridiculously cheap labor while simultaneously chewing out your Congresswo/man for not doing more to protect the U.S. labor market. Complaining about politicians while making no attempt to get to know the character of those running for office.

But for all these things, there’s one very American habit that I don’t understand how the rest of the world lives without:

The caffeine/sugar combo.

Of course I realize that the rest of the world doesn’t “do without” these items. They’re available in mass quantities just about everywhere. But I’m not sure that any other country or culture consumes them in such an obsessive-compulsive manner as we do here in the U.S. I recognize that this addiction contributes to our morbidly high obesity rates, but I genuinely have no idea how I would survive without it.

So, am I as addicted as the next person? Well…no, not exactly. It’s not like I can’t live without caffeine and sugar. It’s just that I believe in using them for the drugs/energy-boosters that they are.

And I have a sneaking suspicion that the key to America’s demise isn’t tied directly to politics or economics. Switch the brew in every coffee shop to decaf and eliminate soda and chocolate and the nation would collapse within minutes.