Competent Drives UNITE!

Ladies and gentlemen, it is my distinct pleasure to introduce to you the world premier of the latest national campaign: Competent Drivers UNITE!

A networking and support group for competent drivers across the country, this is an open forum designed to foster honest and open communication about the habits and practices necessary for the worldwide spread of driving competency. Recognizing that the vast majority of Americans seem to lack the skills and knowledge necessary to ensure their own highway safety, we feel it is our obligation as United States citizens to open their minds to new frontiers, all the while discouraging bad habits and offering helpful advise and solutions to common, everyday problems. We seek to reach out to those less competent than ourselves, though we will not hesitate to point out their downfalls and weaknesses. This is justified, however, by our intent to remain in close accord with the rapidly growing domestic movement to make our freeways safer, cleaner, and moving along ever more quickly. This goal can only be achieved by the increase of competency on our roadways.

Competent Drivers UNITE! (CDU!) seeks the unity of all drivers under the rules and regulations outlined by the competent ones. We are of course open minded in our pursuit of this goal; we will be happy to entertain suggestions from the incompetents, though we reserve the right to ridicule them.

Membership for Competent Drivers UNITE! will be launched shortly. Stay tuned for more details.